Every Waking Moment Read online

Settling back in her seat, she allowed her tense muscles to relax. She always enjoyed the drive to the mountain, and now that she wasn’t behind the wheel she could really appreciate it.

  The view was quite spectacular. As the car climbed the gentle incline up the mountain, the roadside gradually fell away, allowing glimpses through the trees of the valley below. Thick stands of firs, their branches weighed down by glistening snow, dotted the slopes as far as the eye could see.

  Although the sun was gradually disappearing behind a haze of high cloud, reflection from the deepening snow on the sides of the road was still bright enough to dazzle her eyes.

  Heather chatted nonstop, pointing out squirrels and blue jays, and shrieked with delight when she caught a brief glimpse of a deer moving through the woods.

  Gail was conscious of Blake sending her a sidelong glance now and again, but she was content to let him keep Heather amused with his comments, while she absorbed the quiet beauty of the mountainside.

  They arrived at the parking lot just as the sun slipped behind an enormous black cloud. Gail climbed out of the car and pulled on a white wool cap, shivering in the keen bite of the wind. Screams and shouts of laughter echoed across the snow as brave souls raced down the slopes on large metal disks.

  Heather scrambled out, her cheeks turning red with excitement. “Come on, Mommy!” she cried, tugging on Gail’s hand. “Let’s hurry!”

  Gail caught sight of Blake’s face as he watched the revelers on the slopes. He looked as if he were about to step off a cliff into a raging torrent.

  “You’ve never done this before, have you?” she said, hazarding a guess.

  He looked at her, his expression rueful. “Never. But it looks like fun.”

  “It is, and much easier than it looks. You just sit tight and hang on.”

  “You really ride those things?”

  She laughed. “I don’t have much choice. I don’t like Heather going up there alone and I have to get down again once I’m up there.”

  “You can’t just walk down?”

  “I can, but that means leaving Heather alone at the bottom until I get back.” She tilted her head to one side and gave him a sly look. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid to ride the bunny slopes, Mr. Foster?”

  “Afraid?” He grabbed hold of Heather’s hand. “I’m more worried about making a fool of myself. Let’s go. Anything this little squirt can do, I can do, too.”

  He was putting on a show for her benefit, Gail decided, as she followed the big man and her daughter to the rental office. She simply couldn’t imagine Blake Foster being afraid of anything. Or caring about his image, for that matter.

  They rented three disks, and Heather eagerly dragged hers toward the hill, followed more slowly by Gail and Blake. “If I break my leg,” Blake commented, “I’m counting on you to rescue me off the mountain.”

  Gail laughed. “You’ll be too close to the ground to worry about breaking your leg—unless you’re really unlucky.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” He glanced at her. “I hope you didn’t mind me coming along.”

  “Not at all,” she said lightly. “I’m glad of the company. And you’re a big hit with Fuzzy.”

  He smiled at that. “Thanks, but I’m more concerned about you. You were so quiet coming up in the car, I wondered if you were mad at me for engineering an invitation.”

  “‘Engineering’? I thought it was Annie doing all the pressuring.”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly discourage the idea. I guess I jumped at the chance to spend more time with you. Not to mention the opportunity to risk life and limb on the slopes.”

  She gave him a quizzical look. “I guess you didn’t take advantage of all the skiing opportunities on the East Coast.”

  He shook his head. “This is the closest I’ve ever been to a mountain. I just hope I don’t disgrace myself.”

  He looked so worried she had to laugh. “Come on,” she said, dragging her disk ahead of him. “Just follow Annie. You’ll be fine.”

  She had to admit to a moment or two of apprehension as she watched him climb aboard the disk. Huge flakes of snow began feathering down as he sat poised at the top of the slope with his long legs tucked under his chin, both hands gripping the sides and his shoulders hunched against the cold.

  The wind tumbled his hair across his forehead, and he looked up at her with a grin. In that moment he lost his slick, city attitude. He looked more like a cowboy getting ready to ride a rambunctious bull.

  Heather, who had been waiting impatiently for her turn, shoved off with a loud shriek. Blake watched her go, and shuddered. Gail climbed onto her disk and gave him the thumbs-up sign.

  He raised his hand in answer. “See you at the bottom.” The next instant he was gone, hurtling down the slope after Heather as if he’d grown up on the mountain.

  He managed perfectly, as she’d known he would, sliding to a graceful stop as the slope leveled out. She’d been right. All that apprehension had been contrived to get her sympathy. Shaking her head in amusement, she launched herself down the hill.

  The rush of wind in her face took her breath away. Trees flashed by in a blur of green as she sped down the slope, and she leaned back slightly to control the bucking disk. Too far and she would flip over backward; not far enough and she could spin sideways and tip over.

  She reached the bottom and skidded to a halt just a few feet from where Heather and Blake waited for her. Breathless and laughing, she started to her feet. Blake offered her his hand and she took it, feeling the strong tug of his fingers as he pulled her up.

  “Congratulations, Mr. Foster,” she said breathlessly. “You made it.”

  As she straightened, her foot slipped and she almost lost her balance. Without thinking, she made a grab for his jacket just as his hands caught her under the arms.

  For one searing moment he held her close as he steadied her on her feet. She looked up to thank him, and all at once it seemed as if the entire world had gone still. The shrieks of laughter faded into oblivion as his intense gaze held her motionless.

  He was near enough for her to smell the faint fragrance of his musky aftershave. She was acutely conscious of his hands gripping her sides, his thumbs brushing her breasts. The cold air froze her breath as she looked into his eyes, and her heartbeat quickened when she saw her own turmoil mirrored there.

  She imagined for an instant that she saw a need as potent as her own, and then it was gone. In its place she saw subtle-but-unmistakable warning.

  Shaken, she pulled away from him, and his hands dropped to his sides. Turning to Heather, he patted her lightly on the head. “That was fun. Wanna do it again?”

  “Yeah!” Heather yelled, and rushed off, Fuzzy still tucked securely under her arm.

  For the rest of the afternoon Gail struggled with the memory of that charged moment. She must have imagined the warning, she told herself, as she watched her daughter throw snowballs at Blake while he gamely ducked to avoid them. She had to stop seeing a threat lurking in every corner. She would never have any peace until she rid herself of her senseless fears.

  She had to smile in spite of herself as Blake received a snowball smack in the face. Heather rushed off, shrieking at the top of her lungs as he stooped to gather a handful of snow. Then, instead of throwing the snowball at her daughter, he twisted his body at the last minute and aimed it at her.

  She ducked, and the snowball whizzed past her ear, barely grazing her shoulder. Forgetting her uneasiness, she marshaled her own ammunition and joined in the fight.

  The snow fell thick and fast by the time Gail called a halt to the merriment. Heather’s hair was plastered to her face around the edges of her wool cap, and Blake looked as if he’d just stepped out of a shower.

  Disturbed by the image conjured up by that particular thought, Gail concentrated on bundling Heather back into the car. “A hot bath for you when we get home, young lady,” she said, as Blake climbed in behind the wheel.

  “That s
ounds like a great idea.” Blake started the engine and backed the car out. “I have to stop on the way home for gas.” He peered up at the sky. “Let’s hope this doesn’t keep up for long.”

  Snow covered the windshield as they started down the incline. The wipers swept it aside to leave it bunched at the outer edges of the window. Watching the icy mass pile up, Gail said anxiously, “I hope we aren’t leaving too late to come off the mountain.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m good at this.” Blake glanced at her over Heather’s head. “I’ll take it easy.”

  She nodded, weariness creeping over her now that she was relaxing in the warmth of the car.

  Heather was already half asleep. She stirred, however, when Blake asked, “Is anyone hungry?”

  “Me,” Heather said sleepily.

  “You’re always hungry.” Gail smiled at her. “I’ll fix you a hamburger when we get home.”

  “I’ve got a better idea,” Blake said, his gaze concentrated on the road ahead. “How about I buy everyone hamburgers on the way home?”

  “I think I’d better get her home. She’s had a long day and she’s awfully wet.” Gail hesitated, tempted to invite him back to the house for dinner. Before she could voice the thought, however, he nodded.

  “Okay. You’re probably right. So how about this, then? Suppose I pick you both up tomorrow morning, and we’ll drive into Parkerville. I’d like to take a look at that children’s museum you were telling me about.”

  Heather opened her eyes wide. “Yeah! Can we, Mommy? Can we go?”

  She should refuse, Gail thought, eyeing her daughter’s pleading face. Not only would it be hard for her to see Blake leave if she continued to spend time with him, it would be hard on Heather, too, if she became very fond of him.

  “I don’t know, honey,” she said carefully. “There’s so much that needs doing at home. Perhaps we should just stay home tomorrow and take care of the chores.”

  “Oh, please, Mommy, please, please, please? I really want to go to the children’s museum.”

  Gail sighed. He couldn’t have picked a more tempting proposition as far as Heather was concerned. She glanced over at him, but he seemed absorbed in the road ahead, his eyes half narrowed against the glare of the headlights on the snow.

  For once he hadn’t tried to pressure her. She appreciated that. She tried not to notice his hands, sure and strong on the wheel. She noticed a few dark hairs sprinkled across the backs of his wrists, and her shiver had nothing to do with the cold. Almost without conscious thought she heard herself say, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt this once.”

  He gave her a quick glance of approval. “I’ll pick you up at eleven in the morning. We’ll have lunch in town. It will make a change from the diner.”

  She looked away, wondering if he’d waited for her there the past two days. “That would be nice.”

  Heather, it seemed, had drifted off to sleep, as she made no sound.

  “I’ll look forward to it.” He was quiet for a moment, then added, “You’ll have to tell me where you live, since I’ll be dropping you off at your car. Unless I follow you home.”

  Her pulse fluttered, and she kept her gaze on the swirling snow. “That might be easier. Though it’s not difficult to find.”

  “I’d rather follow you. Then I’ll know you arrived home safely.”

  “I’ll be fine. I’m getting used to driving in the snow.”

  The silence seemed to stretch between them, while Gail tried desperately to think of something to say. All at once she felt awkward with him again, as if something were expected of her, yet she couldn’t think what it could be.

  Blake stopped for gas just outside of town, and Heather didn’t even wake up. “I had a great time this afternoon,” he said, as they were pulling out of the gas station. “Thank you for allowing me to join you. I know how much your weekends with your daughter must mean to you.”

  “We had fun, too.” Gail smiled down at the sleeping child, whose head nestled against her shoulder. “Annie loves to have someone new to play with.”

  “She’s quite fearless, isn’t she?” Blake shook his head. “The way she flung herself down that slope just about gave me a heart attack.”

  Gail laughed. “Kids bounce off the ground a lot easier than adults. Though I have to admit, the first time she went on her own, I held my breath all the way until she reached the bottom. Up until then, I’d ridden with her, but she kept insisting she wanted to go down by herself. That was one of the toughest moments of my life, watching her take off on that sled all alone. She looked so small and defenseless, I was quite sure she would break her neck.”

  “She must take after your husband.”

  For a moment shock blanked out her mind. “Why do you say that?” Aware that her voice had sounded sharp, she made an effort to soften it. “I mean, I’ve never talked about him. How could you know what he’s like?”

  He sent her a swift glance. “Take it easy,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stir up painful memories. It’s too soon to talk about him, I should have realized that. It was stupid of me. Please, forgive me?”

  She waited until the pounding of her heart subsided before answering him. “It’s all right. My husband and I were not...I mean, I’m sad that he died, of course, but I’m not...” Her voice trailed off into an uneasy silence.

  Blake didn’t speak again until he pulled up behind her car in Main Street. He shut off the engine, and the silence between them seemed to thicken even more.

  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I only meant that you seem to be the kind of person who weighs everything carefully before crossing the bridge, while Annie charges across without a second thought.”

  The metaphor was so apt she had to smile. “Please, don’t apologize. I try not to think about my husband anymore, that’s all.” She gave Heather a gentle nudge. “I guess I should wake up my daughter.”

  Heather stirred, murmuring a sleepy protest.

  “I hope we’re still on for tomorrow?”

  She looked at him across Heather’s head. In the shadowy light from the streetlamp his features looked softer, his expression wistful. She quickly suppressed the warmth that rushed over her. “Of course we’re still on. I’ll see you at eleven.”

  “I’ll follow you home.”

  The wave of tenderness had taken her by surprise. Had Heather not been there, she realized, she might have given in to the impulse to kiss his cheek. Confused by her sudden surge of emotion, she busied herself getting Heather out of the car and into her own compact.

  The bone-chilling cold, after the warmth of Blake’s sedan, seemed to numb her mind. She switched on the engine and turned up the heat, while Heather grumbled in the seat next to her.

  Glancing into the rearview mirror as she drove off, she saw Blake pull out behind her. It gave her a comforting feeling to know he was there, and suddenly she didn’t feel cold anymore.

  She was crazy to worry about this situation, she told herself as she headed for home. Maybe she was walking down a dead-end street, but at least she could enjoy the trip. And as long as she kept her head, no one would get hurt.

  Heather was young enough to soon forget the handsome stranger who had popped briefly in and out of her life. Once more, Gail’s glance strayed to the rearview mirror. As for herself, she knew well enough the limitations of this relationship. All she had to do was remember them.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning Heather impatiently hopped up and down in front of the window long before Blake was due to pick them up.

  After answering for the fifth time the question, “Is he coming yet?” Gail suggested that Heather draw a picture for Blake as a thank-you gift for taking them out.

  Gail herself couldn’t seem to settle down. It had taken her almost an hour to decide what to wear, during which time she’d changed her outfit twice, and even now she wasn’t sure she’d made the right choice.

  Her yellow sweater seemed okay with her black str
etch pants, but she couldn’t choose between her dark blue wool reefer and a green quilted jacket she hadn’t worn since leaving Portland. She finally decided on the green jacket, then debated whether or not to leave her hair loose or tie it back.

  That question was answered when Heather’s shriek announced that Blake had arrived, a good fifteen minutes early. Now she didn’t have time to tie her hair.

  Hurrying to the door to meet him, she almost fell over Heather, who was determined to be the first to greet the visitor. In fact, Blake looked taken aback when the child hurled herself at him the minute Gail had the door open.

  Folding his arms around the small body, he gave her a hug. “Guess you’re all ready to go, squirt.”

  He grinned at Gail, and her heart seemed to turn over. At that moment she would have given anything to trade places with her small daughter. “She’s been ready to go since the crack of dawn,” she said lightly. “I wish I had her vitality.”

  His gaze flicked over her in a way that warmed her from head to toe. “You do just fine, from what I can see.”

  “Thanks.” The awkwardness that he always seemed to generate in her surfaced once more as she turned away to hunt for her purse.

  After locking the front door, she paused for a moment to draw in that first invigorating breath of clean, crisp mountain air. Ever since she’d arrived in Mellow Springs, she had never failed to appreciate the contrast to the city smog she’d left behind. Although Portland was fairly pristine compared to some of the larger cities, its smell of exhaust fumes and fast food was a far cry from the sweet fragrance of snow-covered fir and cedar.

  “Come on, Mommy!” Heather complained as she ran down to the black car at the curb.

  “Would you like me to drive,” Gail offered, “since you did all the driving yesterday?”

  “Thanks, but I don’t mind driving.” He opened the door for her. “I’ll need you to navigate, though.”

  “Of course. It’s easy to find. I’m sure Annie could tell you how to get there.”

  Heather, however, had opted to sit in the back seat. She was still working on her “secret project” and needed the space to spread out her paper and crayons.